complicated,messed up...
dier buat aku tk keruan...dier stress mcm tkde arah tujuan skrg dier pass feeling tuh kat aku..i feel insecure...and everytime i feel that way,ill start asking him many-many question....only time will reveal, when he'll give up on me....
sometimes i feel he really needs me to be with him...but sometimes otherwise....i dont know wad to do now...shld i wait? or shld i leave him completely....either way i go, we'll both get hurt....too hurtful for me this round of relationship, i feel numb....hahaha....
i thot of giving up,just to go along with the time...let things comes naturally....im tired of finding new love...pple of my age most of them are in a relationship at least....and now,im back to square...and i feel awkward....and just yesterday i bumped into an old friend and she says, better be single coz nowadays guys a hard to be trusted....better be single?? used to but since last two years im used to date the same guy and happy with him and now, we dont talk much...scary shit and super sad...lovers turn friends and acting strangers....im not totally prepared for that....im seeing us as the future...many plans ahead and looks like god stops it coz he's trying to say my fate is not to be with him but for now, i just want to be with him and only him...no offence,god....god,i know you mean well but bear with m while im recovering,please...
please give me strength and guide me thru this journey of my life well...god,i need you...i need him too but seems that he only wants me....idk...im all confused.he made me this way...november is ending so is 2011...
i want to start a fresh for the new year but im afraid to hurt him...maybe ill strive untill end of year since its not far away and see how things goes by....he might be serving the nation soon but not so soon....by then he will be with the guys had no time for other girls except me....or wad if he had no time for me or worst dont need me at all...
hahaha! see how paranoid i am....setiap pertemuan akan berakhir dgn perpisahan...lumrah dunia...
signing off from tgc....
taif pple :)
